


Flattery Will Get You Nowhere...Unless You're Solomon.

by kainess



Series: MC isn't good at pick up lines. [5]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, MC - Freeform, MC is gender neutral, Main character - Freeform, Pick Up Lines, Solomon - Freeform, Solomon/Reader - Freeform, mc is still bad at them but now they're also emotional lmao, obey me - Freeform, shall we date obey me - Freeform, solomon/main character - Freeform, solomon/mc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25928050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kainess/pseuds/kainess
Summary: You spam Solomon's phone with mostly unwanted pick up lines.
Relationships: Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Series: MC isn't good at pick up lines. [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854259
Comments: 21
Kudos: 235





	Flattery Will Get You Nowhere...Unless You're Solomon.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time i'm doing a text based one, so hopefully it's alright LOL  
> MC is gn btw!

**MC:**

solomon

pssst solomon

SOLOMON

**Solomon:**

What do you want? 

Is there a reason you’re spamming my name?

**MC:**

how do you feel about pick up lines? 

**Solomon:**

Pardon? 

**MC:**

pick up lines

how do you feel about them

asking for a friend

the friend is me btw

**Solomon:**

I suppose they’re okay.

I don’t necessarily mind them either way.

Although I’m not surprised you’re asking me about this.

**MC:**

you’re not?

**Solomon:**

I heard from Simeon that you’ve been pestering some of the brothers with pick up lines.

And of course he told me Mammon was involved to a certain degree. 

So I figured it was only a matter of time before your shenanigans found me.

**MC:**

shenanigans?

solomon, you sound like an old man.

**Solomon:**

Well, I suppose there’s no stopping you.

Lay them on me.

**MC:**

you’ve been the most willing so far

i’d expect nothing less of my fellow human ;)

human squad gang gang

**Solomon:**

Do it before I change my mind.

**MC:**

have you seen the shrek movies

**Solomon:**

It’d be a disgrace if I haven’t.

**MC:**

our relationship will never be ogre

**Solomon:**

Try harder.

**MC:**

tough crowd 

but ok

i’ll make waffles with you any time

i’d let you into my swamp

**Solomon:**

I’m flattered, truly.

**MC:**

i knew it

no one is immune to shrek pick up lines

**Solomon:**

Is that all you have?

**MC:**

haha you wish

since this is over text, i have plenty of time to google more pick up lines

you won’t catch me slipping like i did with the brothers

**Solomon:**

I feel very honored.

**MC:**

as you should

anyway 

do you like star wars? 

because yoda only one for me

**Solomon:**

That was...cute.

**MC:**

oh shit, really?

so that’s how i can get you, huh? star wars

i’ll make mental note of that for later

**Solomon:**

Don’t spread that information.

I’ll tell Lucifer you’ve been up to no good with Mammon if you do.

**MC:**

you wouldn’t dare

but i really doubt that the brothers are going to even know know what star wars is

anyway, i only have one more left

so prepare yourself

**Solomon:**

I’m preparing myself.

**MC:**

ok ok good

are you a parking ticket?

because you have fine written all over you

**Solomon:**

While I give it an A for effort, Asmoedus has already used that one on me. 

**MC:**

dammit asmo

stealing my thunder

the second brother to do so

i can’t catch a break; they’re too clever

**Solomon:**

You’re giving them too much credit.

What if I told you I also have a pick up line to use?

**MC:**

wait 

you? 

solomon the wise has a pick up line he wants to use on ME?

i’d be very honored

**Solomon:**

Don’t get the wrong idea.

**MC:**

have you used any on asmo before?

**Solomon:**

Pick up lines?

No, why?

**MC:**

lmao i’m so excited you have no idea

**Solomon:**

Okay…?

Are you ready?

**MC:**

ready freddie

**Solomon:**

...Right.

Out of everyone in the world, I hate you the least. 

**Solomon:** **  
** MC?

MC, are you there?

Hello??

MC???

  
  


**MC:**

sorry 

i was crying

**Solomon:**

What? Why?

What happened?

**MC:**

that was just

it was so sweet

did you really mean that solomon???

**Solomon:**

Wait...

You were crying over the pick up line I sent?

Seriously?

**MC:**

it was so flattering

i wasn’t expecting it

honestly, i was expecting something cheesy 

but yours sounded very… genuine

like it sounds like something you would say

and so for that, i am honored

thank you, solomon

**Solomon:**

...You’re welcome?

**MC:**

date me

**Solomon:**

Alright, that’s enough fun for today.

Goodnight.

**MC:**

dammit 

**Author's Note:**

> if there's any pick up lines or characters you want to see next, do let me know! :)


End file.
